Friday, November 30, 2007

DUI Checkpoint Bullshit


Let me see if I get this. You're the sheriff of an Ohio county. You feel that the roadblocks, or checkpoints, are violations of the 4th Amemndment. You feel, and are supported by stats, that it is much more efficient to have your deputies out on patrol for drunk drivers than tethered to a roadblock. You close the majority of roadblocks before the bars close and have them closed during the time most likely to catch drunks, 12-3am. But, when the State offers you cash to set up the roadblocks, in spite of how you feel and the evidence to support it, you knuckle under. Here's the bullshit.

He Is Unstoppable

Is there anything that Chuck Norris cannot do?

Another Good Stop On The Internet Highway


Snave at Various Ecstasies has blogrolled me so of course I return the favor. I've poached and linked with credit a couple of times to his site so go on by and take a look. He's pretty damn funny. Above is another sample.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

This Kills Me




There's more of this here from Various Ecstasies.

A Really Bad Day

Someone's about to have a really bad day.

This Is EXACTLY How I Feel Today

I need to go on vacation. Only 7 months to go until the next one.

WTF?

Ya gotta wonder what the hell happened to this guy?

This Is Interesting

I know I have issues and all, but still... Actually I'm more of a live and let live kind of guy anyway.

Let Me Fix My Hair

Yep, lets wreck my car and worry about how my hair looks.

I Love The Constitution

Now, this is protected speech and all, but at least this guy could get it right. Gen. 1-29 says to use the plants and the seeds from the plants, so how can dopers be going to hell when God says hit the blunt?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The FSM Hits The Mainstream

CNN.com has an article on the Flying Spagetti Monster here. If I had to believe in a deity, it would be the FSM. All Hail His Noodly Appendage!

Crossdressers Fight At McDonalds


You just can't buy advertising like this. Crossdressers fighting the crew at Mc D's. What is this world coming to.

From Stardust

Here are 22 good outlooks on life that Stardust found. Its worth a click.

Over 100 DUI's

Here's an investigative report that says over 100 Georgia police officers have been caught drunk driving and many of them are still working in the field. I'm pretty pro-police but to get caught drunk driving in the first place should merit some severe penalites and to get caught again, well, you should get the axe.
Remember, if I'm caught drunk driving I lose my CDL for a year and cannot work in my field. Why should it be any easier for a police officer who we expect to uphold the law and be cut from a better jib than the rest of us?

Gone To Pot





Someone in Tampa is very unhappy as somehow their 60 pounds of pot ended up on the side of the road and was picked up by the freeway cleanup crew. (here) It looks like the pot is fresh from a grow house. Y'know, its not like the FHP did any real work to find this pot or anything, so I don't get the posing with the contraband. What a waste of perfectly good ganja.

This Really Is Gross

Here's an article about some poor Delaware man who went in have a temporary colostomy fixed. Well, he got fixed all right. The docs switched the pipes and he had feces come out of his penis and urine out his colon. What the hell is up with that? Someone's malpractice insurance is really going to take a hit for this one. I don't think I could give a guy enough money for this kind of suffering if I was on the jury.
This reminds me of some stories I've seen about people who get thier stomachs stapled and the docs fuck up and they burp shit and stuff like that. I've tossed and turned a stomach staple but its stories like this that scare the hell out of me and lead me to think I'll just be a fat ass instead of burping feces.

God Exists For One Lady

Here's a Denver gal who was going broke and prayed she would win the lottery. Sure as shit, God provides for one of his sheeple and she wins 4.5 million dollars. Of course you can ask why she's playing the lottery if she's losing her house to forclosure and can't afford to go to the doctor but that would make you a skeptic like me.

You Can't Cash It Anyway

Here's a Utah man who returned a 2 million dollar check back to the State of Utah and he's being praised for being so honest. Well, hell, what do you really expect? As soon as the State reconciles the account and notices this kind of mistake, they'll be asking for their money back. And, what do you say to the police when they ask you why you cashed a check you knew was incorrect. I guess if you even could get it cashed you could have fled on the spot and opened up a Swiss account or something like that. Still, its a sad day when doing the right thing warrants such praise.

From Across The Board

This kills me.

Victory For The Constitution

Summer Squirrel celebrates a victory for the Constitution here. Basically, the SCOTUS refused to hear the Harris County, TX case where the County was sued for having a Christian monument in front of the courthouse. The plantiff won and the courts found the County liable to remove the monument and pay the plantiff's legal fees. And, in Texas, of all places.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm Not Going

This is the main reason I don't want to RV to Mexico. Michel's blog tells wonderful stories about the kindness of the Mexican people and he seems to like it down there. But, this kind of interaction with the police is what I'm deathly afraid of. As an American, you're in a no win situation where you (at least I don't) speak the language. No thanks.

Yesterday's Golf

I had a little time to kill so that meant driving to Buchanan Fields for a quick 9 holes. I got to the first hole and stretched out, feeling pretty good. Sadly, the first few shots were pure shit and I ended up taking an 8 on the hole, hitting three costly shots.
Holes 2 and 3 were backed up as there was a really slow fivesome coming up on 3. They were slow and looked like one or two of them were new. So, I jumped over to 4 and figured I'd play 2 and 3 later. This turned out to be a good idea as I don't think I would have finished before it got dark.
I hit a good tee shot but stubbed the fairway shot and three putted for 7. Great, all this misery for $11.
But, that was it for crappy shots as I pulled my head out of my ass and bogied the final 7 holes to card a 45 with 19 putts. Par for me at this course is 42.5 for 9 holes so I played a bit more to my par than the last two times I was here.
I only hit one bad chip, a bit too hard and over the green. I saved bogie with a 1 putt. And, sadly on 7 I hit the green from the tee but three putted for bogie. 3 putt bogies do not make me happy. But, I played a lot more consistant and that's what I'm looking for.

Jesus Sees Everything

I got this from lolthiest. (here) Actually, I got the link from Poodles. If you suffer from terminal panty wrinkling, don't go there.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

From The FFRF

There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”
-- Anne Nicol Gaylor, wording proposed to counter religious displays. Appears on annual Winter Solstice sign displayed at the Wisconsin State Capitol every December.

Its Anne's birthday today. She helped found the FFRF, of which I'm a proud member.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

3 Good Reasons




Here's three good reasons Sandra and I always wear a helmet. This would be worse than death.


I Love Pumpkin

From Scooter Scoop. I should have had this out in front of the condo for Halloween.

Plush Sex

I don't quite know where Atillia got this one, but here's the story about a guy who broke into a garage and made love to a stuffed plush toy dog. Jeebus, I guess it really does take all kinds.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanks To Poodles

Poodles thought of me when she saw this sign on her and the Hulk's trip to Vegas last week. Makes ya wonder where the F went.

Voters Do Good

Here's a good story about voters in Michagan declining to have the city put Jesus shit up on city property. Its a shame that 45% of voters in Berkely don't believe in the Constitution, but at least enough do to squash this shameless shit. Hell, if the 45% want the navitity up, they could put it in their front yards.

Pervs Are Coming By

Ever since I added the feedjit widgit, I've been able to see some of the posts that people come to directly. A while ago I titled a post "Glory Hole" about the dam at Lake Berryessa. "Glory Hole" is also a sex term and I'm noticing visitors coming by that very post. Hmmmmm, gotta wonder what search words they're using in Google.

I Love The Teapot

Shamelessly poached from Russell's Teapot. I paypaled him a donation so its all good. Cllick on the pic to see it in a bigger size.

WTF?

This gal's back must hurt like a mother. Y'know, I like female breasts as much as anyone else, but jeez louise.

My Next Turkey

I poached this from Attila The Mom at Cheaper Than Therapy.

Mark Sent Me This

>>A guy walks into a bar wearing a 49ers jersey and carrying a cat that's also wearing a 49ers jersey. The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the 49ers game here? My TV is broken and my cat and I always watch the game together".
The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll have to ask you to leave."
The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game.
Pretty soon the Niners kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.
The bartender says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! Does he do that for every field goal?" The guy nods, "Yeah, every time."
The bartender asks, "What does he do for a touchdown?"
The guy answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years." <<

Y'know, this would be funnier if the Raiders weren't as shitty as the Niners. But, I hate the fucking Niners with a passion. Giants, Niners, the whole city (except for Basic Brown Bear) can fall in the ocean and I wouldn't shed a tear.

This Made Me Laugh

Thanks to Various Ecstasies for this one.

God's Blog

God came by the blog within the last week as well. Here's a link to His blog. And, I'll warn you in advance that if your panties easily wrinkle, its best that you go to the Puppies and Kitties blog.

Another Blog To Check Out

Decrepit Old Fool came by and his blog was one I had saved on the old PC at work. As usual, when I get someone who is not a regular come by, and I like their site, I'll give them a shout out.

Take A Look

I can't remember how I stumbled onto this blog, but Middle Aged Vampire Atheist has come by to comment on the blog and that means a shout out. Vamp DiVerL lives in Kern County, in the same neck of the woods as Possummama. Give her a peek if you can keep your panties from crinkling.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Intersection of X and Y is Z

I poached this from Xavier, he has this as a wiget.

Good Pic Of A P-38

I've always thought the P-38 Lightning was a bitchin cool plane. The Germans called it the "fork tailed devil." I poached this pic from rv.net.

What A Fucking Gouge

Here's a Shell station selling diesel for $4.13 a gallon. What a fucking gouge. For goddamn diesel. Note on the link that they're at least .35 a gallon higher than everyone else. Still.
When I went to Kansas the first time, during the Times Of Trouble, I got gas down the block from the plant as I left for Kansas straight up from work. I was using a viedo camera a lot back in the day and I filmed the gas prices at $1.80 a gallon. I commented that though it was a gouge that day, one day it would be looked back on fondly. And, that day certainly has come.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

More Winners

Showing up at the police station reeking of pot is never a good idea. Here's a couple of winners who made that discovery in Mass.

White Trash

Let me see if I get this. Your wife doesn't bring you home beer so you go out and shoot one of your pet goats. You don't kill it, but its suffering and the sheriff's have to come out and put the goat out of his misery. Then, you're arrested in a local bar. Here's the poop from Wisconsin. Some people are a waste of breath.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

Its like Xavier says, you just can't make this shit up. Here's the mayor of an Arkansas town that resigned, claiming he was abducted by aliens. Give it a click, you'll just love it. Aliens, WTF?

Cool Pic

From Across the Board.

This Kills Me

I saw this on Nightmare's blog. I don't know who thinks up this crazy shit, but "Global Orgasm Day" sounds like a winner to me. Give it a click, he's got the link.

Another Reason Our Country Is Going To Hell

Attilla The Mom has an article here about the Boulder CO school district not having a valedictorian for high school any more as it fosters "unhealthy competition." What a total crock of shit.
I also wonder if the Boulder kids have any sports teams. After all, don't sports promote "unhealthy competition?" Goddamn, touchy feely bullshit. And, they're next door to Denver to boot. Losers.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Love Letter To Jesus

Fiery writes a love letter to Jesus here. She's waiting for answers from Jesus and to tell you the truth I'd like the same answers Fiery is looking for. Her blog is worth a regular visit if you're a brother or sister in non belief.

Today's Golf











After I got the bad news about the trailer I damaged, we teed off at San Jose Muni for our weekly round of golf. It was a feast or famine front 9, as I lost two balls and hit a few crappy shots. I also birdied two holes out of three, which is only the second time I've ever had two birdies in a round. I putted much better than my usual effort as I only had 15 putts in my front 9 score of 51. I did manage three snowmen, or scores of 8, to kill a good front.
The back was a bit more consistant as I had my two scores of 8 to go with 5 bogies and a par for a matching score of 51 (with 17 putts), to total 102.
Since I've been playing a bit for the last two months, my handicap is a little more indicitave of my crappy abilites. Par for me today with my 29 added strokes was 101 and I shot 102, so based on that criteria I played to my ablilites.




Studebaker Truck








This old Studebaker was at the golf course today and I couldn't resist a few pics for the blog. My mom tells the story when I was a toddler we were riding in the car and I said the word "studebaker." She asked me where I saw that word and I told her "s-t-u-d-e-b-a-k-e-r, its right on that car." Scared the hell out of her. I was 2 or 3 years old.
Then again, there was a reason I would "read" the phone book as I was teaching myself how to read. More scaring of my poor mother.
I also used to steal the neighbor's Sunday Chronicle. The neighbor couldn't figure out where her paper was going and separately from that my mom wondered where the Chron was coming from as she never saw the paperboy come to collect.
One morning the neighbor gets up early to see who is stealing the paper. Here comes this tow head with blonde curls coming down the sidewalk. I'm alledged to have stopped to pee in the roses before taking her paper and bringing it home to read the comics. Ahhhhh, mystery solved.

Its Worse Than I Thought




When I got to the golf course today, Jeremy the Fleet Manager told me that I just didn't bend a rim, but I bent the frame of the trailer. I couldn't believe it but I went by the plant to clean up before I ate dinner and started my shift and I took a look in the daytime.
Look at the top picture. The passenger side front and rear tires are about as far apart as my hand. Now, look at the middle pic and you see the two sets of driver side tires are inches closer. They need to be the same distance apart. This shows that the axle is out of alignment and the frame is bent. The bottom pic shows the bend in the frame. So, its not as simple as buying a new rim, but if its even repairable it'll take a bit more doing.
I'm pretty embarassed about it.


Sunday, November 18, 2007

Ahhhhh, Fuck


Pole versus tire usually means someone loses. And, that loser is your humble blogger. I clipped the rear axle of the trailer on the pole. This is called "offtracking" though I was going pretty straight. Instead of having one of my crew back in the trailer I got in one myself to keep in practice. I guess I need to pull my head out of my ass and pay more attention. Goddamn it, what a dumb fuck.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Here's My Sidecar

Now isn't this a cool looking sidecar? And on a scooter to boot.

Sandra Needs This


From The Teapot

The last message from Russel's Teapot that I've had saved for a while.

The Answer Is "Yes"

To the age old question, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Driving While Blonde

Ooops, how could this have happened?

What A Wedding Picture

Yeah, this is how I want my attendance at a wedding to be remembered. Face first on the floor.

The Real Peter Griffin

Damn do I laugh at Family Guy.

This Is What I Was For Halloween

No, not really. But, what is this about, someone couldn't make up thier mind as to what they wanted to be.